Monday, December 14, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
1. A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."
2. Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake.
"I'll go into town for a doctor," the other says.
He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town's only doctor, who is delivering a baby.
"I can't leave," the doctor says. "But here's what to do: take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison, and spit it on the ground."
The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony.
"What did the doctor say?" the victim asks.
"He says you're gonna die."
3. YO MAMA SO STUPID SHE PUT LIPSTICK ON HER FOREHEAD TO MAKE UP HER MIND.
4. A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this...
Looking for man with these qualifications:
- won't beat me up
- won't run away from
- is great in bed.
She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day.
The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away."
So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?"
Bob replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?"
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."
2. Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake.
"I'll go into town for a doctor," the other says.
He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town's only doctor, who is delivering a baby.
"I can't leave," the doctor says. "But here's what to do: take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison, and spit it on the ground."
The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony.
"What did the doctor say?" the victim asks.
"He says you're gonna die."
3. YO MAMA SO STUPID SHE PUT LIPSTICK ON HER FOREHEAD TO MAKE UP HER MIND.
4. A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this...
Looking for man with these qualifications:
- won't beat me up
- won't run away from
- is great in bed.
She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day.
The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away."
So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?"
Bob replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?"
Monday, November 30, 2009
Find the 7 differences
Answers:Answers:Answers:Answers:Answers:Answers:Answers:Answers:Answers:Answers:Answers:Answers:Answers:Answers:Answers:Answers:Answers:Answers:Answers:Answers:Answers:Answers:
1. Crown ball
2. Flowers
3. Chair
4. blue diamond on staff
5. His robe is open
6. Crowns little red squares
7. Extraleaf or red doots on undershirt
Some more hilarious jokes for ya!
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes
Why is air a lot like sex?
It's no big deal unless you're not getting any
What's the difference between a blonde and a light bulb?
The light bulb is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn on.
This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, long dog, ... Now read without the word dog.
Breasts don't have eyes
Why is air a lot like sex?
It's no big deal unless you're not getting any
What's the difference between a blonde and a light bulb?
The light bulb is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn on.
This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, long dog, ... Now read without the word dog.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Worst pick-up lines ever...
My shameless pickup line:
"I forgot my phone number. Can I have yours?"
My shameless pickup line:
When a hot woman gets on a full bus, say to her: "Why don't you sit on my lap?... we can talk about the first thing that pops up."
My shameless pickup line:
"Wanna have sex while we eat pizza?" [disgusted look on her face]
"What's wrong, don't like Pizza?"
My shameless pickup line:
"Do I know you? Because I'm having a hard time recognizing you with your clothes on."
"I forgot my phone number. Can I have yours?"
My shameless pickup line:
When a hot woman gets on a full bus, say to her: "Why don't you sit on my lap?... we can talk about the first thing that pops up."
My shameless pickup line:
"Wanna have sex while we eat pizza?" [disgusted look on her face]
"What's wrong, don't like Pizza?"
My shameless pickup line:
"Do I know you? Because I'm having a hard time recognizing you with your clothes on."
Thursday, November 26, 2009
MORE TRICKY QUESTIONS FOR YOU!
1. If you had only one match, and entered a dark room containing an oil lamp, some newspaper, and some kindling wood, which would you light first?
2. If a plane crashes on the border between the US and Mexico, where do they bury the survivors?
3. What is it that poor people have, that rich people need and that death loves?
ANSWERS!ANSWERS!ANSWERS!ANSWERS!ANSWERS!ANSWERS!ANSWERS!ANSWERS!ANSWERS!ANSWERS!ANSWERS!ANSWERS!ANSWERS!ANSWERS!ANSWERS!
1. The match, obviously.
2. You dont bury the survivors
3. Nothing
2. If a plane crashes on the border between the US and Mexico, where do they bury the survivors?
3. What is it that poor people have, that rich people need and that death loves?
ANSWERS!ANSWERS!ANSWERS!ANSWERS!ANSWERS!ANSWERS!ANSWERS!ANSWERS!ANSWERS!ANSWERS!ANSWERS!ANSWERS!ANSWERS!ANSWERS!ANSWERS!
1. The match, obviously.
2. You dont bury the survivors
3. Nothing
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
TRICKY QUESTIONS AND JOKES!
1. If three cars are racing. One is made of metal and passes the end line in 75 minutes, the other one made by aluminum passes the end line in 1 hour and 15 minutes and the last car, made with straw crosses the end line in 75 minutes too. Its a windy day. Who won the race and why?
2. If in a building called "year", each floor is called by following: First floor January, second floor February, third floor March and so on. Each room is called Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and so on. The reception is called time. Then, how do you call the elevator?
3. A magician was boasting one day at how long he could hold his breath under water. His record was 6 minutes. A kid that was listening said, "that's nothing, I can stay under water for 10 minutes using no type of equipment or air pockets!" The magician told the kid if he could do that, he'd give him $10,000. The kid did it and won the money. Can you figure out how?
4. You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
5. If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
6. (in your head!) Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?
7. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it? It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it! In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out! Try to do so without any coaching!
ANSWERS! ANSWERS! ANSWERS! ANSWERS! ANSWERS!
1. They are going at the same speed!!! 75 minutes and 1 hour and 15 minutes are the same!!
2. You press the "call" button, dumb ass.
3.The kid filled a glass of water and held it over his head for 10 minutes.
4. If you answered that you are first, then you are a complete idiot!! If you overtake the second person and you take his place and you become second!
5. You cant overtake the last person cuz you would be the last person idiot!!
6. Did you get 5000, wow you really suck? The correct answer is actually 4100. Don't believe it? Check with your calculator!
7. The letter "e", which is the most common letter in the English language, does not appear once in the long paragrap, how could you not notice!
2. If in a building called "year", each floor is called by following: First floor January, second floor February, third floor March and so on. Each room is called Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and so on. The reception is called time. Then, how do you call the elevator?
3. A magician was boasting one day at how long he could hold his breath under water. His record was 6 minutes. A kid that was listening said, "that's nothing, I can stay under water for 10 minutes using no type of equipment or air pockets!" The magician told the kid if he could do that, he'd give him $10,000. The kid did it and won the money. Can you figure out how?
4. You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
5. If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
6. (in your head!) Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?
7. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it? It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it! In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out! Try to do so without any coaching!
ANSWERS! ANSWERS! ANSWERS! ANSWERS! ANSWERS!
1. They are going at the same speed!!! 75 minutes and 1 hour and 15 minutes are the same!!
2. You press the "call" button, dumb ass.
3.The kid filled a glass of water and held it over his head for 10 minutes.
4. If you answered that you are first, then you are a complete idiot!! If you overtake the second person and you take his place and you become second!
5. You cant overtake the last person cuz you would be the last person idiot!!
6. Did you get 5000, wow you really suck? The correct answer is actually 4100. Don't believe it? Check with your calculator!
7. The letter "e", which is the most common letter in the English language, does not appear once in the long paragrap, how could you not notice!
FIND THE 7 DIFFERENCES WITHOUT LOOKING BELOW!
ANSWERS ARE DOWN HERE!
1. The question marks on top of her head.
2. The wheel on top left side of the bike sign.
3. The truck tire on the right is flat.
4. The plug thing on the "air" box on the center left.
5. The stop sign at the top-right side of the pic.
6. The red line on the truck.
7. The color of the t-shirt!
1. The question marks on top of her head.
2. The wheel on top left side of the bike sign.
3. The truck tire on the right is flat.
4. The plug thing on the "air" box on the center left.
5. The stop sign at the top-right side of the pic.
6. The red line on the truck.
7. The color of the t-shirt!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Chuck Norris Jokes
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/
CHECKK IT OUT! KLASIKAL SNAKJACK IS SIMILAR TO FLAPJACK!! YEAHHH@@@@WOW
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/
CHECKK IT OUT! KLASIKAL SNAKJACK IS SIMILAR TO FLAPJACK!! YEAHHH@@@@WOW
Monday, November 16, 2009
Wazap
Hey yo wassap dudes, in this blog I will post funny jokes, videos and stories. Also I will make my own videos with my buds, which will be freaking funny. Stay tunned and enjoy mofokas!
Ps. Ericks Gay
Ps. Ericks Gay
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